Last month, my baby girl had a baby girl. Yes, that's right, I'm now the proud GiGi to three gorgeous grand babies and I'm obsessed! (Side note: when did I become old enough to be a GiGi?!)

There is so much life that radiates from small children. They are always up for a new adventure and find absolute wonder in the simplest things. I now have a new appreciation for ants!

As I’ve held the newest edition to our family in my arms or gazed for the 100th time that day at the photos my girl sends, I have become more obsessed with this little bundle. It's incredible how a tiny baby who does nothing but sleep, feed, cry and poo on repeat is completely and utterly adorable. What is it about tiny babies and their ability to mesmerise us so easily? I love her 100%, and she hasn’t even done anything yet! Nor does she have any idea of who I am.

I love her before she even knows me! And my love for her is unconditional, even if she vomits all over me.

The other day as I sat holding her, looking over at her older brother, I remembered when I first held him.  He was so small, and I wondered who he would become and what his voice would sound like. As he grows he is becoming the most fun, chatty and gorgeous happy little man I know! My love for him hasn’t grown from the first time I laid eyes on him, but our connection has, and there are extra moments of joy and fun as I spend time playing cars on the floor, riding bikes and reading the same book for the 10th time that day!

So, there I was, contemplating this GiGi life and thinking about how squishable those baby cheeks are, when I felt the gentle nudge of the Father.

 “Hey Fiona, you know that’s how simple it is?! That’s how I feel about you.”

 “I know.”

 “No, you don’t. Look at her face. What's she doing?”

 “Sleeping peacefully.”

 “Yep. Why?”

“Because she’s lying in my arms and she's just had her nappy changed and been fed.”

 “Yep. Is she doing anything else besides looking incredibly cute?”

 “No.”

“That's right. Absolutely nothing. Those feels you're feeling…they are a tiny representation of the feels I feel about you…especially at night when I just get to watch you sleep.”

“What?!”

“Yep, when you're not even doing anything, except perhaps talking in your sleep and occasionally snoring, I adore you! And you know what else? Even when you come to me in ugly cry tears, you word vomit all over me or come to me with all your poo; my love does not falter. I’m right there to hold you tight, gaze into your eyes and remind you how incredible you are. And connection? Well, as long as you choose to spend time with me, I don’t care what we do! Being with you is my greatest delight.”

And exhale…

It was such a beautiful reminder because I am in a season of learning all over again just how much he loves me.

It took me a long time to realise that I was loved unconditionally! I spent way too long either fighting for God’s love or hiding from his eyes, and all he wanted was for me to lie back in his arms and BE loved. So, if anyone needs me, I’ll be spending my days being the proudest Gigi in the world to that gorgeous new grandbabe of mine and learning how to be just like her…totally and utterly loved before I even do a thing!

Photo: my dad and me