The Empty Nest
A few weeks ago, my youngest baby bird flew the nest. It's a weird thing being an 'empty nester.' For years, I've heard people talk about the grief that overflowed when the kids left home. I often smiled to myself, thinking of the things I wouldn't miss:
the mess
the unfulfilled hope that the things I left at the bottom of the stairs would be picked up and returned to the bedrooms
the daily question of 'what's for dinner?'
the washing and the never-ending logistical challenge of ‘after school’ activities and teenage life.
I also wondered why people walking past would whisper, "Enjoy these moments; they go so quickly", as I was wrangling three small children for the tenth time that day. I'd smile politely, but just under the surface was an unbelief that wanted to whisper back, "You're kidding, right?" But now, those days are long gone and here I am wondering where they went.
The empty nest thing snuck up on me way too quickly, and I don't know if I'm ready. I’m standing on the precipice of the unknown while fighting the urge to gather my kids back under my wings again. And looking back now, the moments I felt would last forever, happened in the blink of an eye.
This is one of those happy sad moments. As a mum, it's so hard to let go, to be faced with the realisation that your child (young adult) no longer needs you the same way; you’ve become kinda redundant. And that stings a little, but it also means these birdies are ready to fly, and that makes me happy!
Looking forward, I don’t fully know what the future holds. I’ve never been here before, and it all feels a little uncertain.
But here's what I do know:
The grief is real, and allowing myself the space to walk through it at my pace and feel all the feels is a precious gift.
The tears that have flowed are full of beautiful memories and laughter: tiny feet, muddy shoes, child-like giggles and milestones too many to mention. Life is gloriously messy.
There was a moment in each of my kids' lives when the last handhold, bedtime story, and homework conversation happened. If I had known it back then, I would have taken much more notice.
Those long days of monotonous parenting go by so fast. Try not to take them for granted or wish them away. Every day is a gift.
I've never been more proud to be a mumma than I am right now. Those tiny humans I gave birth to and those they have chosen to do life with and create life with grew up to be some of the most incredible humans on the planet.
Once a mumma, always a mumma.
Sometimes, the small things are the big things worth sweating over.
Other times the things you think are big, the main thing or even overwhelming, turn out to be so not important in the end.
And above all, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat!
I miss those early days more than I ever imagined. Yet, I'm excited to see the possibilities ahead in this new season thrust upon me. And I can not wipe the smile that comes from deep within as I think about the lives my kids will continue to pursue with such passion and beauty, regardless of what life throws at them. And more than anything, I hope they know this mumma bird will forever cheer them on, no matter how far they fly or where they land.
Love truly is the greatest!
